pişmanlık duymak

im so sorry. i didnt mean to do those things behind you. i dont know what am i doing. i am just so lost and delusional. i didnt mean to do any mistake behind you. even i feel disgusted from myself sometimes. i just wanted to reach you. hear your voice, see your face, listen to your excellent laugh; though, i knew i never deserved none before anything happened even before you. i am no one to long about this. my brain slowly disables things in itself. do you enjoy seeing me regreting that i woke up every day? why did you have to make me feel regret of you? i wanted to love you. but apparently i am too bad that i can even feel trust issues with the last person i could... i am so tired. i am even tired of planning it. i am tired of choosing wrong answers every time. i just wanted to fix things. were everything you said was mistake or is that another time that i am sabotaging myself?